single Archieven | Existential Reflections

Essays

The solo mindset and living authentically

Menno van der Land / May 16, 2025

I recently stumbled on the book Solo, by behavioral scientist Peter McGraw. In his book, McGraw explores various ways people can relate to being either single or in a relationship, other than riding…

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Every time someone asks me if I have children, and my answer is ‘no’, I am amazed that the default follow-up question is: “why not?” Apparently it’s OK to ask people to justify their highly personal life choices. Especially when those choices deviate from what is considered ‘normal.’ People who do have children rarely have to defend themselves. Although in my opinion it makes more sense to ask people why they chose to have children. A convincing answer to why you would bring children into this world, proving you have given it proper consideration, seems more appropriate to me than having to justify staying childfree.